Within our hard drive, or unconscious, we have software running, just like in our computer. These are programs that the unconscious uses to create our perception, experience, and behaviours, or in other words, the outputs. A computer does not work unless information is put into it, and then it creates an output. The same goes for us. Information is coming in through our five senses, and we then filter this information unconsciously through our unconscious mind, and on the screen of our mind, we get an experience. This experience is made up of pictures we see, sounds we hear, feelings we feel, both internally and externally, smells, tastes, and our internal dialogue or self- talk.
It is the programs within the unconscious that determine what our experience is and, therefore, our perception of things. This then determines our behaviour and the results that we get.
When working with clients, I am most interested, not in the presenting problems they share with me, but in what is going on within their programs which is creating the problem, performance, or result they are experiencing. Only then can we find out what the root cause is, and only then can we do something about it, creating a behavioural change and new result.
Some of the software within the unconscious mind that determines our experiences are:
1. Beliefs, what we believe is what we achieve. A belief is a thought that has been reinforced by another or ourselves and said “yes” to until we believe it to be true or real. Some beliefs serve us— for example, “The world is a safe place.” Some beliefs don’t serve us, such as, “Money is hard to make.” These are called limiting or negative beliefs.
2. Values, are what is important to us in the different contexts of life—for example, career, health, relationships, etc. What is important to us is where we spend our time, and where we spend our time determines how we behave. Values affect our behaviour, depending on the context, and they also influence our motivation. If what is important to us in our career is being fulfilled, then we will be highly motivated and engaged.
3. Thinking Styles/Attitudes, are our preferred ways of thinking in different contexts. They are also called metaprograms and are our perceptual filters, kind of like sunglasses that we put on that help us see the world in a new light. For example, is the glass half full or is it half empty; are you motivated by a carrot or by a stick; do you agree with people or prefer to disagree? These are just three of over 60+ known programs that determine our perception.
In this blog, you will discover your values for each area of your life in contexts such as Health, Wealth, Career, Family, Intimate Relationship, Life, Leadership etc. Pick one and elicit your values using the script below then go to the next context. Discovering consciously what is motivating and driving your life may be a new discovery for you, or it may be a conscious reminder of what is important to you. For many of you, you will discover why you may have internal conflict and most importantly you will discover why you are not getting results that you want.
Following is a Values Elicitation Script from cognitive behavioural sciences. Be totally honest with yourself when completing this important work and I look forward to hearing from you and how it goes. Contact me in the comments if you have any questions or want to share any successes.
1. Elicit Surface Values
‘What is important to you in your business (or any other context eg relationship, health, etc)?”
‘What else is important to you in your business (relationship, health etc?’ Write down in your own specific words
Keep going until you have a sense of “that is it”
2. Elicit Motivational Values
‘Go back to a specific memory of work where you were extremely motivated in business (or another context)…go to that moment just before you knew you were motivated. What was it that caused you to feel so motivated?’
Write down your own specific words
‘Go back to another time…’
Repeat until no more events that yield a different value
3. Elicit Threshold Values
‘Now, if you had (list all of the values) what would have to happen, or what would I have to offer you, that would cause you to leave this business”?
Write down your own specific words
‘Now if you had all of this plus I gave you (new value) what would cause you to leave’?
Repeat till client says ‘there is nothing you could give me, it is all here’.
4. Rank values in a Hierarchy
‘Using your gut feel, rank these values in order of importance to you. 1 will be the most important and so on. The easiest way is to go through it very quickly and then the next step will challenge what you have done to make sure it is sitting correctly for you’.
5. Challenge Values Hierarchy
‘So, number 1 (state the value) is more important to you in your business (or another context) than number 2 (state value)’. Go through at least the top 5 values.
6. Complete Analysis of Towards and Away from motivation
Go through each value and identify how much of this value is motivated by ‘away-from’ and ‘toward’ motivation.
Take one value at a time and continue to ask yourself “what is important to me about this?” “And when I get that, what is important about that”.
Step back and listen for any away-from statements and record against each value.
Away-from statements will include words such as “I won’t have…” “Not get hurt…” etc
Source: Dr. Tad James Advanced Neuro Dynamics