Listening is one of the simplest and most basic ways to enter into the now. Listening means being present; it means to forget yourself completely, to enter into the other person’s world.
It is being present, forgetting yourself, being attentive to the other and genuinely caring about them, being passive, observing them without any internal dialogue to think about a comeback or construct an answer. This is being present; this is being with another fully. If you cannot forget about yourself and focus on another fully and completely, you can never listen.
“The greatest need for a human being is to be heard, met, and understood.”
You can fake listening, you can pretend you are listening, you can say yes or no, smile and respond, but you are not there—you are somewhere else other than with that person. Of course, they feel that. They feel you are not there with them.
The greatest need for a human being is to be heard, met, and understood. If you can’t forget yourself and truly BE with another, you will never be able to fulfil that person’s needs, and you will never be able to attain high-end trust with them.
An excerpt from The Evolutionary Leader – 5 steps to dramatically develop people and performance by Timothy Carroll.