From Timothy’s Desk:
In June, I had the fortune of learning to free dive with one of the world’s best Freedivers, William Trubridge. In an email, he told me that he lost his colleague and friend, Natalia Molchonova, the world’s best women freediver in a freak accident.
This article on ‘Conquering your Ultimate Fear’ which we had drafted before learning of Natalia’s death is now even more poignant and we hope you take it to heart and act upon it. None of us are going to get out of this one alive, it was Natalia’s time to go. Like all top freedivers, she had to face her fears, the fear of death included. To dive to the depths she did, she had to master her mind and the internal fear and dialogue that wants to stop her from achieving her goals.
To this end, I dedicate this article to Natalia and the role she played as a women and example to others. She held 41 records in freediving and died at the age of 53. Her example shows that you can achieve anything you want when you master your fears, mind and body. She lived fully and now, may she rest in peace.
Timothy J. Carroll
Some people are so afraid to die that they never begin to live. – Henry Van Dyke
At one time or another, we all have dealt with fear. Nobody likes fear because it is a negative and an unpleasant emotion. It is the usual reaction to something which is perceived as being threatening, dangerous or harmful. When we fear something, our quick response is to stop moving forward in order to shield ourselves from negative things that we think might happen. Only a few have developed the courage to face their fears and conquer them. Many have instead allowed fear to control their lives consciously and unconsciously, thus have missed living a full life. Fear will keep us from advancing in life. It prevents us from growing as individuals. It holds us back from fulfilling our aspirations and becoming our best. It hinders us from discovering new and better things and from enjoying life to the fullest.
To feel fear is normal. No one is exempted from that feeling. Each one of us has his own fears. And if we are to dig deeper, most of these fears stems from the ultimate fear common to many which is the fear of death. Just the mention of the word already scares you. You avoid it as a topic. You shut off any thought of it. You’re so afraid that you can’t confront it head on. Many have allowed this fear to dominate them and cripple them so they are unable to enjoy life. If you count yourself as one of them, below are ways to help you conquer your ultimate fear:
Reflect on your fear. Identify what exactly about death are you fearful of. Discover the reasons behind the fear. Analyze what thoughts can bring it about. Identify how it impacts you. When you understand your fear you will know how to face it and deal with it more effectively.
We will all depart. Not one is exempted. We all know the fact that death is part of the life cycle. We all will die, some sooner and some later. No man was able and will be able to change that fact, not even the wealthiest, the most powerful leader, the greatest scientist, and the most health-conscious. The greatest achievement so far was just being able to prolong life but not one has stopped death from happening.
When you accept that which is inevitable, you free yourself from anxiety and unnecessary stress. That is already winning 50% of the battle. You start to have peace which puts you in a position ready to embrace the beauty of life and make the most out of it.
3. Be in the present moment
Live fully in the present. Don’t dwell in the past. We cannot undo what has already been done. Stop thinking about the future. Anticipated or not, it will come. Don’t waste the present moment as you only have now to enjoy it. Be conscious of the moment. So you are able to do this, practise breathing deeply and feel your breath as you inhale and exhale. Savor life as you breathe. Be grateful of the present moment, of the air you breathe, and the life you continue to have. Enjoy the moment and just be. When you keep yourself grounded in the present your fear of death will dissipate and so you start living truly.
4. Live meaningfully
Life is best lived when shared with others. Share moments with others. Be conscious of doing something good for others each moment that you live. Give meaning to other people’s lives. Let every moment you share with them leave a positive impact. Life is happier and fulfilling when you know you have blessed others with your life. When you are living a meaningful life, your fear melts away. You are prepared to face death anytime because you know you have lived life fully and unselfishly. Only those who are unsatisfied and unfulfilled will cling to life. They have not enjoyed life in its totality and so are fearful to die.
Decide to conquer your fear of death now. Waste no time. As Joan Rivers would say, “Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God’s gift, that’s why we call it the present.”
© 2015 The Carroll Consultancy Group. All rights reserved.